Yesterday in the Mirror, my campus's college paper, there was in article that unleashed a pandora's box of rage and protest.
This is the article link: http://www.fairfieldmirror.com/coffee-break/he-said-the-walk-of-shame-1.1932761
Basically, the He Said (an opinion piece written by Chris Surette) went over the line from humor to cruel vularity. The article was describing what the Walk Of Shame is like for Fairfield students, which it a piece that has a lot of potential for awkward humor.
But Surette did not choose this path.
No, instead, Surette took this oppurtunity to degrade women. He spoke of how "her walk of shame is your induction to the hall of fame", of how hooking up is only for the lay and the story, and, worst of all, he referred to the girl walking back to her room as a "victim...with a disgraceful look on her face as if she was robbed of her dignity."
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
It's bad enough that he objectifies women in this piece. It's horrible that his tone implies that all the power is in the man's court; that a girl cannot be sexually liberated without being called a slut.
But the worst thing of all is that one word- victim.
By using this word, Surette has eluded to rape. Whether he meant to or not, by calling a woman a victim, he is essentially saying that the girl in the situation was violated and used as a sex tool.
Rape is not a joke.
Victimization is not funny.
Women are not objects.
We are people.
I am not your victim.
Needless to say, some people were enraged. And what do angry, just people do? They protest.
I was astonished and happy to see this protest go into action. During religion class, I heard there was a sit-in at the campus center, so I ran down after class. Basically, the students were taking copies of the Mirror, cutting out the He Said/ She Said article, highlighting words and phrases used to objectify women, and taping these cut-outs on the outside walls of the Mirror Office. Then, we would put together the rest of the newspaper, and put it back where we got it from. The event snowballed into putting statistics about Rape up, and writing some of those stats outside the Campus Center with chalk.
It was genius.
Although some people were not happy with the minor destruction of the Mirror, I think the protest was an overall success. I generally don't believe in property destruction as a form or protest, but as we weren't destroying the article and we were putting the rest of the paper with all its other articles back, I found it acceptable, even encouragable. I was glad to be a part of it.
The evening ended with a circle talk where we discussed how we felt about the article. All was well until there was an exchange between the protesters and the few Mirror staff that came to the protest at this junction. This quarrel was small, and we came to the agreement that there will be a meeting on Monday in order to discuss what actions the Mirror can take to put a more positive spin on their paper.
I do believe there needs to be a change. Printing an article like that is just bad taste. Yes, there is free speech- HOWEVER there is also an ethics code our school has set for out paper, and this paper did not cut it. It violates 21 and 22 I believe it was, about using vulgar language and violent sexual vulgarities. Furthermore, as someone who wants to pursue a career in Journalism, I was appalled that someone on a college level would even write that. Not only is it unprofessional, one has to think of the context one is writing in. Yes, it is an opinion piece. But whatever piece is printed in the paper becomes a representation of that paper, and in turn of the school. I found out the Mirror is technically independent; however it is still distributed around campus and bears the university seal. Imagine being a parent, a mother, a sister and picking up that paper to read about how you daughter's school is doing. After reading that article would you want to send your kid here? Of course not!
If this were a legit paper, like the New York Times, would something of that caliber be printed?
NO.
Every He Said I've read since I've transferred here has made me a bit angry, but this put me over the top. But in a way, I'm glad it came out. There is a problem at this school and there is no denying it: women are objectified by some (note: some, not all) men. What's worse, some people were totally apathetic about the article, and some even laughed. We have an attitude problem here, and it needs to be adjusted.
I refuse to be your victim.
I am a woman.
I am a person.
I am strong.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
It's all about the Body Language
Ursala, from the Little Mermaid:
[You'll have your looks]
[Your pretty face]
[And don't underestimate the importance of]
[Body language, Ha!]
As we've all heard from movies like Hitch and the Little Mermaid: there is no greater form of communication than body language. A year ago, if someone had said this to me, I would have said that you were full of it. However, this year, not so much.
Last year, I had a friend with whom I shared all my "boy secrets." I would ask her to analyze how the boys I liked acted arounded me, and if she thought there was some chemistry between us that was more than the imagined chemistry in my head.
She was ridiculously good at this. Why? She talked about our body language.
"If a guy was facing towards you, good. Face-to-face shows openness and interest. He talked mostly to you. Engaged expression. Casual touch."
or
"He didn't seem that engaged in your conversation. He sat straightforward, only turning his head to you when you asked a question he needed to answer. He talked to you only when promted and there was no touching"
Obviously these are two extremes, but you get the point. The body, the face, the arms, everything (!) gives indication as to what a person is internally feeling. And, sometimes, people don't even mean to give an indication- it just happens.
Like at a dinner table. You're seated between two people, and the one on your left is a person you're trying to get to know better. So you swivile in your chair, face them and engage with them. However, while you are doing that, you are inadvertantly blocking out the person on your right. They may misinterpet your languare- they don't see it as you being more interested in the other peron, but as being disinterested or annoyed with them.
Body language can be powerful, but it also can lead to misconceptions. To interput body language, it helps to know something about the person. Myself, for example. I am a very physical person, and I give hugs often. Hugs can be seen as a select interest, and yes, even with me they still are; I don't often hug strangers. However, if someone who is much more introverted than I am gave someone a hug, the hug itself wouldn't necesaily mean more, but it would be more out of the ordinary and a bigger signpost of "OH HEY THIS KID LIKES YOU LOTS."
Basically, the body sometimes can speak for itself. Though I'm a big believer in verbal communication as a way to strengthen all sorts of relationships, there's no denying that there is truth found in your body language.
[You'll have your looks]
[Your pretty face]
[And don't underestimate the importance of]
[Body language, Ha!]
As we've all heard from movies like Hitch and the Little Mermaid: there is no greater form of communication than body language. A year ago, if someone had said this to me, I would have said that you were full of it. However, this year, not so much.
Last year, I had a friend with whom I shared all my "boy secrets." I would ask her to analyze how the boys I liked acted arounded me, and if she thought there was some chemistry between us that was more than the imagined chemistry in my head.
She was ridiculously good at this. Why? She talked about our body language.
"If a guy was facing towards you, good. Face-to-face shows openness and interest. He talked mostly to you. Engaged expression. Casual touch."
or
"He didn't seem that engaged in your conversation. He sat straightforward, only turning his head to you when you asked a question he needed to answer. He talked to you only when promted and there was no touching"
Obviously these are two extremes, but you get the point. The body, the face, the arms, everything (!) gives indication as to what a person is internally feeling. And, sometimes, people don't even mean to give an indication- it just happens.
Like at a dinner table. You're seated between two people, and the one on your left is a person you're trying to get to know better. So you swivile in your chair, face them and engage with them. However, while you are doing that, you are inadvertantly blocking out the person on your right. They may misinterpet your languare- they don't see it as you being more interested in the other peron, but as being disinterested or annoyed with them.
Body language can be powerful, but it also can lead to misconceptions. To interput body language, it helps to know something about the person. Myself, for example. I am a very physical person, and I give hugs often. Hugs can be seen as a select interest, and yes, even with me they still are; I don't often hug strangers. However, if someone who is much more introverted than I am gave someone a hug, the hug itself wouldn't necesaily mean more, but it would be more out of the ordinary and a bigger signpost of "OH HEY THIS KID LIKES YOU LOTS."
Basically, the body sometimes can speak for itself. Though I'm a big believer in verbal communication as a way to strengthen all sorts of relationships, there's no denying that there is truth found in your body language.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Toto, I don't think we're in Baltimore anymore!
New School, New jeans, New blog. Makes sense, right?
Anyway. Sophomore year. The year of the wise fool. And I can honestly say I am a wise fool. Why? Because I transferred on a whim. Let me explain:
No one place ever has everything you want. Generally, with college anyway, it's taken as a 50/50 ratio: 50% is academic, 50% is social. When you're a serious student, the scales tip to something more like 70-80 : 30-20. I won't go into the nitty gritty of it, but essentially my old college, Goucher, was unable to give me the education I needed. So I moved. Smart, simple and easy, yes?
No. Wrong.
Goucher had it's problems, but when it comes down to the line, I know there are people in Baltimore who would throw themselves into running traffic for me, and vice versa. In a year I had made connections I had never thought possible. Don't get me wrong, I had friends in high school- close friends I still love and talk to on a daily basis. However, I went to school with those kids for about six years. I was able to make just as strong connections in a mere one year at Goucher. Maybe it was the hippie-esque, open-minded, love everyone mind-set of the place or maybe I just got lucky. Regardless, I miss them. A lot.
Not to say I don't like Fairfield! Here, I just got plain lucky.
When I first got here, I was ridiculously nervous. All I could think was, "Shit, did I make the right decision?" The people here are very different than Goucher folk, and I was mentally prepared to be a loner for a week or two until activites started, but I just wasn't sure about the vibe of the place. I'm a friendly person. I like hugs over handshakes, shouts over whispers, and if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing me drunk, I enjoy holding hands, violent hug-tackling, and the occasional frolic. But people here seemed more interested in clothes than philosophy, and more interested in getting laid then making friendly human-to-human connections.
Or so I thought, anyway.
Fairfield is bigger than Goucher by about 2/3rds. So the chances of finding my niche were good. However, actually locating them was a different story. I remember texting to one of my Goucher friends: "Abi, I think all the weird kids are hiding from me! I must go on a quest!"
Well, the quest wasn't that eventful. In fact, it ended before it really began. Like I said, I got lucky. I met a girl, we'll call her A, in the most random of places: the gym. I NEVER go to the gym; i prefer running outside. Regrdless, I met her at the gym one of the two times I've gone this semester (no lie). Basically, she more or less adopted me and brought me around her dorm and I met her friends. They are fantastic people and I'm so happy I've met people who see life as an adventure. They are good people; concerned about others' feelings and willing to go out on a limb for their friends. They accepted me right away and I don't think they have any idea how greatful I am; I'm really happy to be in co-houtes with them.
Since then, I've made it a point to join an obscene number of things to meet people, and jump out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to random people. It seems to be working ok; some are weirded out by my forwardness, but hey- go big or go home.
It will take awhile to get used to Fairfield. I got lucky, but it's still hard to leave part of yourself behind- to have two homes to miss. Everyday I meet new people, and I'm slowly learning that behind the general Fairfield "polite but distant" stereotype, there are exciting and interesting people. In the end, I think I did make the right decision. Who knows, maybe I'll even convince a Goucher Gopher or two to come visit me in Connecticut.
Anyway. Sophomore year. The year of the wise fool. And I can honestly say I am a wise fool. Why? Because I transferred on a whim. Let me explain:
No one place ever has everything you want. Generally, with college anyway, it's taken as a 50/50 ratio: 50% is academic, 50% is social. When you're a serious student, the scales tip to something more like 70-80 : 30-20. I won't go into the nitty gritty of it, but essentially my old college, Goucher, was unable to give me the education I needed. So I moved. Smart, simple and easy, yes?
No. Wrong.
Goucher had it's problems, but when it comes down to the line, I know there are people in Baltimore who would throw themselves into running traffic for me, and vice versa. In a year I had made connections I had never thought possible. Don't get me wrong, I had friends in high school- close friends I still love and talk to on a daily basis. However, I went to school with those kids for about six years. I was able to make just as strong connections in a mere one year at Goucher. Maybe it was the hippie-esque, open-minded, love everyone mind-set of the place or maybe I just got lucky. Regardless, I miss them. A lot.
Not to say I don't like Fairfield! Here, I just got plain lucky.
When I first got here, I was ridiculously nervous. All I could think was, "Shit, did I make the right decision?" The people here are very different than Goucher folk, and I was mentally prepared to be a loner for a week or two until activites started, but I just wasn't sure about the vibe of the place. I'm a friendly person. I like hugs over handshakes, shouts over whispers, and if you've ever had the pleasure of seeing me drunk, I enjoy holding hands, violent hug-tackling, and the occasional frolic. But people here seemed more interested in clothes than philosophy, and more interested in getting laid then making friendly human-to-human connections.
Or so I thought, anyway.
Fairfield is bigger than Goucher by about 2/3rds. So the chances of finding my niche were good. However, actually locating them was a different story. I remember texting to one of my Goucher friends: "Abi, I think all the weird kids are hiding from me! I must go on a quest!"
Well, the quest wasn't that eventful. In fact, it ended before it really began. Like I said, I got lucky. I met a girl, we'll call her A, in the most random of places: the gym. I NEVER go to the gym; i prefer running outside. Regrdless, I met her at the gym one of the two times I've gone this semester (no lie). Basically, she more or less adopted me and brought me around her dorm and I met her friends. They are fantastic people and I'm so happy I've met people who see life as an adventure. They are good people; concerned about others' feelings and willing to go out on a limb for their friends. They accepted me right away and I don't think they have any idea how greatful I am; I'm really happy to be in co-houtes with them.
Since then, I've made it a point to join an obscene number of things to meet people, and jump out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to random people. It seems to be working ok; some are weirded out by my forwardness, but hey- go big or go home.
It will take awhile to get used to Fairfield. I got lucky, but it's still hard to leave part of yourself behind- to have two homes to miss. Everyday I meet new people, and I'm slowly learning that behind the general Fairfield "polite but distant" stereotype, there are exciting and interesting people. In the end, I think I did make the right decision. Who knows, maybe I'll even convince a Goucher Gopher or two to come visit me in Connecticut.
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